purple asylum (protect your sanity)

2006-05-24T07:40:00.000+08:00

does myblog inactivity have anything to do with the increase in blogspams?
i haven't been blogging because this year i have just been hovering around, looking for a niche. i still haven't found one, but i feel free enough to blog about it now.
life in u of c is like taking a dive. Every quarter, you start anew, fresh and full of air. all is well, you're just floating about, looking at all the other swimmers doing the same. then by the middle of the quarter, you start to feel your lungs slightly constricted, you find it slightly harder to breathe, you start flapping around, you rest more, trying to conserve oxygen. Things get more and more claustrophobic, things pass by faster, and by the end of the quarter, you are squeezing out your last resources of oxygen and telling yourself, 'just a while more!' you flounder about and just stick it out for a few more days then the end comes and you emerge and draw in a big breath *gasp!* -- and you feel much better. well, break comes, you enjoy, grow stronger again, then it's time to take another dive.
i promise this summer i'm going to work out so much my lungs are going to get so bloody big u of c isn't going to scare me anymore.

yoohoo!

2005-10-26T11:29:00.000+08:00

k i'm back. yes it'smidterms time and i'm busy. sowee. but to compensate. PICS ARE UP! enoy.

que hay de nuevo? mucho!

2005-10-04T03:01:00.000+08:00

time for another update.
got my new laptop! woohooo! inspiron 700m, so cute la. now can use msn and go online whenever i want to mwahaha. when i'm not busy doing work la that is.
homework for the week, nine chapters on the illiad, 3 spanish quizzes, one listening exercise and one reading exercise, a two page essay on the illiad, 12 math proof questions, one chem lab report and 6 chem questions on quantum mechanics. wahlau..
on the side, i have also recently acquired an accent. no it's not an american accent, but it's not malaysian either. what happens is as much as you try to retain your malaysian accent or copy the american way of talking, you are bound to be influenced by the ppl around you, ethopian american, asian american, african americans and so forth, so subconsciously you mimic them a little, yet you can't make it cuz you have been grounded in your malaysian ways, so you end up stuck with this accent that comes from the middle of nowhere labeled the lame int'l student accent. sigh. so now i have an int'l student accent. i get the creeps when i hear myself talk. haha.
anwyayz, that's it for now. i have to finish my essay by this evening. chao!

pillar of salt

2005-09-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

can't help it. i keep looking back. guess i'm more sentimental than i think.

first day of school.

2005-09-27T08:21:00.000+08:00

hey hey
strange because it's the first day of school and i'm supposed to be really busy but this is the first time since coming here that i feel settled down and free enough to make a loong post. so here comes the loong post as promised.
as aforementioned, today is the first day of classes, so let me elaborate on that first. don't think i've mentioned this earlier, but if i did, bear with me. i'm taking calc 3, honors chem, this humanities course called human being and citizen, and spanish. haha. because of my ingenius planning, my first class starts at 8.30 am on mondays wednesdays and fridays, and my class lasts till 5.30 on tuesdays. sigh. but anywayz, as i was saying. woke up today all excited and eager to start class. swayed happily into the building when i suddenly realized i didn't know which room the class was in. and the building is HUGE. luckily i met this singaporean girl whom i knew was taking the same class and SHE knew ehere it was so i just kind of tagged along. after that, i had an hour's break and you think i would be wise enough to figure out the rooms for the rest of my class but NO. i wasted one hour eating breakfast, taking a walk to the bookstore and when the time came for the spanish class, i was rushing against this throng of students (it was 10.30 then, peak hour) trying desperately to search for my class. finally, i apporached the office and got the room number, so no biggie, just 5 minutes late. i don't have to tell you what happened for calc lecture either.
but overall, lectures are fine. spanish is in small class format so there'll be plenty of interaction for us to practise the language. but for chem and math we have a class of roughly 70 ppl so there's a lot of liberty there in the sense that you wouldn't be caught if ou don't show up. and ppl here are also very attentive in class, or they are considerate enough to be quiet in class so you can't really make friends during lesson time. bummer. i was looking forward to meeting new ppl. but anywayz, back to the lectures. classes are cool. still pretty easy at the moment, math was review on sets and we didn't even start chem and spanish. my chem lecturer is this jolly old man, spanish a young graduate who speaks with this latino accent, and my math lecturer dons neon green hair bands and doesn't wear a bra. this is soo not intec. haha. but classes are cool, eventhough i have HOMEWORK ON MY FIRST DDAY OF SCHOOL. don't think it's going to be an easy year. too spoilt in intec.
should i touch on orientation as well? this is getting pretty long winded. nothing much la. i never really liked orientations. jsut not the type to make fast friends and go to parties the minute i meet them. this kind of thing takes time one ma.. but anywayz, i don't think it's something i miss, sadly.
i'm starting to like this place quite a lot. sad huh that i identify with the place more than the people. but downtown is wonderful, there are hundreds of improv comedies, music performances and films to go to, some more pricey than the rest. and weather is like genting. and fall is beginning so the leaves are starting to turn golden. really nice. but i think you'll have to wait till next week to see the pics though. that's when i'll get my new laptop. :)
friends- making friends with too many singaporeans for my own good. :p dunno la, it's irresistable to talk to someone who shares your accent and lame sense of humor. liyana tells me it's the trap of only mixing with ppl of the same region and i should be careful not to fall for it, but i can't help it! there'r also thais and hong kongers and chinese ma..sigh. one thing is that you can say it's much more probable that you'll keep in touch with these ppl after you graduate than ppl from the states or canada. on the other hand, you would never have stretched yourself to fully experience a foreign culture. so, we'll see, still looking out for friendly faces.
guess that's long enough la. i still have to log on to see if i have any math homework which will be due end of this week. i already have an essay due next monday on illiad. and i haven't even gone to class yet. but yeah, that's life. ciao!

yeah it's cliche to post lyrics but i thought i identified..

2005-09-22T05:17:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna be alone (oh oh)
living life all on my own (oh oh)
i don wanna live my life in isolation
filled with empty decorations
cuz i wanna be with ppl that i know
who would do the things i do (oh oh)
making all my dreams come true (oh oh)
i don't recognize the shadows at my door
although i've seen them all before
because the only thing i really want
is to be with you

don't worry. i'm fine.

still in oweek.

2005-09-21T05:33:00.000+08:00

helo. bumming in the library now waiting for lunch. i'm sooo sleepy... yawn.
things aren't great, but they are getting better now. yesterday went to see this show in my dorm by a traveling improv comedy troupe called second city. real funny ppl they are. tonight there's a movie on the campus quads too. so there'r things to occupy me.
the making friends thing is getting better too i guess. just generally make small talk to everyone you see and be nice. i have yet to find a few that i can really talk to though. but i guess it'll be ok. ppl here are generally very friendly. and chatty. sometimes abit too much for my taste but it's cool. like yesterday i earned a ton of responses and small talk from the cup of bubble tea i was holding. so yeah, no cliques, lots of small talk, if that's how it's supposed to be i'm pretty fine with it for the moment.
there'r like 3 thai restaurants down my street. cool! haha. but don't think i can eat there everyday with the amount of money i'm getting.
mm, that's about it i guess. too tired to write more. just had pe test btw, talking about tired. yawn... think i'll go nap in the other corner of the library. ciao!

busy busy

2005-09-20T00:39:00.000+08:00

currently still having o week. going to have lunch in 2 minutes.
hectic hectic. fitting in, getting lost, unpacking, trying to talk, answering qns like 'wow you do speak good english for an int'l' staying quiet and staring after realizing this is not exactly the right crowd for you et cetera.
sorry i can't blog as often. thought that i would be inspired to write more often since now there's so much to do but i just can't find the time. there really is alot here. like i went to navy pier the other day which is a pier with a sort of amusement park in it. just amazing. but i have to talk about it another day cuz i jsut realized you can't buy your laptops online unless you have a local credit/debit card. means my mom's efforts to get me a supp card back at home proved to be futile. so patience, soon i'll have 24 hour access to a personal laptop and will be able to see you more often. miss msn like anything.
that's all for now! have to eat. always hungry here, don't really know y.

helo helo!

2005-09-15T06:11:00.000+08:00

i'm back! with more things to say now. in fact i have LOTS. so we'll jsut have an overview and i'll go topically to make things easier ok? contact me for details.:p
PLANE FLIGHT
terrible. at first it was ok all the way to taipei. then on the 11 hour flight to LAX after that i had a bout of indigestion which i mistook for travel sickness. the whole way in the middle of the night i was trying to stifle my vomit while other ppl were snoring away. and the pressure thing makes my ears hurt. thinking of going through all that i smaking me think twice about going home frequently :p
LAX
was there for only a night. stayed in hacienda hotel jpa scholars should be able to identify. the weather was cool. much cooler than chicago in fact. was my first night in the states. felt really foreign. it was really obstentious the way we spoke differently from everyone else. like, when we went to this mexican diner for dinner, the guy says burritos with the emphasis on the 'bu' and a soft 't' on the 'ttos'. we say bu-RI-ttos with a hard 't'. i felt really out of place. plus the fact i didn't know what was actually inside a buritto, we didn't know if we had to clean up our trays.... it was quite frustrating. but the cool genting-like weather and the fact that we're in LA kinda made up for it.
CHICAGO
initially it was HOT. generally it's beeeautiful. downtown rawks. have some pictures but since i'm currently still in a temp dorm and my camera's dead i'll post them another day ok? patience. the metra and el ( which is like putra and ktm) smells funny. the buses are efficeint enough. like everyone else who has come here says, food serivings here are larger, clothes are larger, buildings are larger, roads are broader. seriously, downtown is AMAZING. i can't describe it here so wait for my pictures to do the talking
MSD OFFICERS
huh? you say. yeah. they live really near NU so they could come meet us all of the 3 days before we moved to our respective unis. went to their houses for dinner like 2 out of 3 days. they are REALLY nice as well. warm and welcoming and helpful. go msd haha
NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY
ironic as it seems, i got to tour NU, my supposed rival school before actually going to u fo c. it's pretty. that's all i can say. the rich, white, suburban kind of place. you know, peaceful, tame (haha).
EDGEBOOK MOTEL
that's the place i stayed in for 3 days. just thought it would be cool to mention that i stayed in a motel. it's really near target.
9/13
move in day for NU ppl. after sending them off. ustaz khalid from msd and the director, en rahim sent me to hyde park, where my senior should be to accomodate me for one night. thing is, i couldn't call her at all cuz i think i got the wrong number (the voicebox was in spanish). so i didn't know if she would be in. when we got to her supposed address, we couldn't find her name on the mailbox, it was empty and undergoing renovation, and i couldn't call anyone. so we stayed in the car for 20 minutes, while we ran through the msd database trying to get at least the number of one senior form u of c who would take me in for a night. after 20 minutes of worrying and non-stop calling and reprimanding from the director, finally this sophomore senior answered and agreed to keep me. so we drove over to her place, lugged my luggage to her room on the 8th floor ( we took the elevator but there are still small flights of stairs around, and fot those who didn't see my suitcases, they are BIG; big enough to be labeled bulky item by the airport and checked in another lane). then i had to help my senior carry HER stuff from the basement to the 8th floor cuz whe was moving in on that day as well. she had 8 BIG BOXES. afer that had a tour of my campus (love it. expound later) and then dinner with the other senior i was supposed to bunk with. nice dinner. then lugged my suitcases again down the 8th floor, ON THE BUS, across the street and into her apartment. thank god there was her bf to help me with the lafger suitcase up the apartment stairs. then stayed there for the night. 9/13. memorable.
U OF C
ROCKS MY SOCKS. beautiful. ok , hyde park, the neighbourhood it's in sin't that great. it's ok ler.. not as green or as clean as the regular suburban, unlike other places in the US, houses here have fences. that says sth. black majority, blablabla. but once you reach the campus, WOW. buildings here are huge and intimidating and gothic. will show you pictures another time. sorry for tantalizing. haven't started school yet so i can't say much. just that for now i'm happy i'm here.
today
checked in for int'l orientation today. the real one doen'st start till saturday. now in temp dorm. wonderful dorm too. (show you pics later, you know how it goes) then met this guy from china. went out with him and his uncle on their rented car to downtown, chinatown and navy pier. nice. haven't really met anyone else yet. prolly will see them later. more updates then.
k that's all for now.... that's all that's happened in the past 4 days. contact me for details if you want. ciao!

2005-09-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

i'm alive! surprise.

transition: work in progress

2005-08-11T11:46:00.000+08:00

yup. i'm still alive. don't worry.
in transition phase now between life chapters. just finished a year-long one, filled with other characters, most whom i can't bring along to the next. looking forward to a whole new exciting 4-year chapter while still reminiscing the last one.
can't really pin down the last year into a paragraph. let's just say there were good times and bad times, exciting times and bummer times. everyone has a different version anyway. i'll talk to my diary regarding this one.
so, while preparing for a new phase, there really isn't much to do is there? eat, sleep, shop. i can't tell you much about what i'm doing besides what i had for lunch i think. if you have better ideas, pls do tell me.
anywayz, that's all for now again. my blog's getting more sporadic now. sorry bout that. will write more when there'r more public issues of concern like the haze.

atu nite

2005-07-14T20:37:00.000+08:00

pics from atu Nite and the nite after.
think i miss the ppl already. sniff. but will expound on that later.
oh if the link doens't work try going to kongsinyi.multiply.com and THEN typing in kongsinyi again in the id field. haven't figured out why.

since june

2005-07-05T19:53:00.000+08:00

it's been some time. things happened.
juniors- came end of june. some are comically over-serious, some disturbingly shrewd (she asked me for a refund for my books,bgr) some annoyingly cute, some not-as-cute. was looking for juniors from tmn sea, was disappointed until today when a slim, big-eyed chick sat next to me on the bus. "er, are you from tmn sea? you look kinda familar". and so, i was spotted by a junior. satisfaction.
weird encounters with strangers- MY, HC and i were in Asia club playing foos when two guys walked over and asked if they could join. seeing that one of them was kinda cute, we relented. but after that, they lingered and asked us to play pool. to make things worse, 2-3 more of them came over after that. the only thing going through MY's head at that time was "gang rape" =p anywayz, they introduced themselves as italian and iranian, but amazingly, ALL of them talked among themselves in the same foreign tongue. hmm, didn't know the italians had linguistic ties with the mid easterns. big guys started asking MY and HC funny questions regarding their love life, water and dinner. call me paranoid, but yours truly just stared warily around and looked as anti social as possible. anywayz, the game ended and so did the encounter.
INTEC- cumulation of tiny things, such as getting a dress for Nite, song practice, cal test, misc.
WOTW- rox my sox.
rice- mom has suddenly switched to decievingly white rice which is dry and unpolished tasting. gross. tastes like sand.
immunizations- uni requires all students to be rubella, rubeola, tetanus/diphteria, mumps,and preferbably chicken pox, polio and meningitis- proof. so that means a trip to the doctor to see how my antibodies were doing. turns out that i needed a blood titre to check and 2 chicken pox jabs over a span of 6 weeks. i suddenly had a surging fear of needles. too late anyway. i was poked twice in the arm, and squeezed a bit (she couldn't get enough blood for the titre). and i have to go back on fri or so to check out the titre results, and prolly for a mumps and meningitis jab. another 6 weeks, and another one for chicekn pox again. that;s 5 jabs in total, assuming my hep B antibodies are doing fine. overall a less than pleasant experience. next time when i'm a immunologist i will create a vaccine tat immunizes everyone against EVERYTHING FOREVER with just one jab.
that's all i can think off for now. write more next time. ciao.

Bangkok RAWKS!!!!!!

2005-05-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

sawadika. just came back from a 3-day stint in Bangkok. actually "stint" is inaccurate considering the 5-star treatment my grandaunt, mom and i got. granduncle is a business expat type, so we were treated like royalty , inclusive of a posh resort suite and a personal chauffer.
anywayz, many things to talk about, so we go slow:
SCENERY:
basically the same as old KL. dingy shophouses squashed between skyscrapers. hidden squatters intermingling with whitewashed bungalows behind the buildings. they even have the same lrt looking thing. i forgot what's it called. i think sky train or sth like that. Except that everything was written in Thai. so don't attempt to drive in bangkok unless you can read the road signs. and except that there were men in reflective orange vests at every corner, not traffic police, but motor taxis, where one could flag down and ride on the back as it squeezed through the gridlock. considering the traffic conditions there, motor taxis are a stroke of genius. and except that there were tut-tuts everywhere, motor powered rickshaws with decorative ribbons and paintings on them. and except that there were vendors at every turn, selling EVERYTHING from jewellery to miracle balms to fried crickets to tom yum. and that there was a little buddhist altar in front of every building. random piece of information.
FRIED CRICKETS:
yes. they were fried. and on sale. and edible. yummy.
ROASTED BANANAS:
not as weird, but yes they were there too. another random piece of information.
FOOD:
food is GOOD in bangkok. and i'm not even much of an epicurean. seriously, i've never taken this much iodine in my life, and i usually shun from seafood. okay, maybe partly because my granduncle was the host and i couldn't be the picky manjapot that i usually am. but really, the seafood were so fresh there was zero fishy stench. plus there'r all the sour, spicy, minty and wonderful sauces of all colors that you could dip everything in so everythin tastes sour, spicy, minty and wonderful anyway. to prove my point, the shrimp were so fresh brown pus squirts out when you break their heads. they might have just heated the entire fish tank with the creatures still crawling inside for all i know. and everything is sweeter, sourer, spicier, or greasier than usual. most of the food is drenched in lard or coconut oil which gives it the sweet, satisfyingly greasy taste, and most of the sour spicy stuff have this herb in it that smells terrible but tastes heavenly. to tell the truth, bangkok stinks, cuz food is sold everywhere and thais like to put in this weird herb that stinks like hell. sth like a cross between pee and pepper, which reminds me a little too vividly of Golden Mile, Singapore (people who have traveled by bus to singapore, you know). but when you think about it, most yummy stuff stinks, like cheese, durian (if you like durian, that is), chow tau foo, so stinky-yummy is a tolerable compromise me thinks. AND the fruits were good too. pineapples are ALWAYS sweet and mangoes are apple-crispy. honestly, food is reason enough to visit.
PAT PHONG:
red-light district of Bangkok. one thing i regret is forgetting to bring my cam on that trip. anywayz, just imagine petaling street stalls, multiply by 5, add in the lights and pubs of Bangsar, and imagine that in every pub, in view from the outside, there is a bar top filled with lithe but breasty girls in uniform bikinis grooving really badly to loud disco music. not that anyone minds the bad dancing though. apparently you are not allowed to touch, but if you buy them a drink you can get them within close enough proximity to go beyond just ogling. anywayz, and haggling is FUN. prize achievement is a 2-piece full length gown from 1850 baht to 500. that's about 50 rm. and i'm only an amatuer. haven for the thrifty.but i'll get to shopping later.
SHOPPING:
ok, that wasn't much later. but anywayz. if food was GOOD, shopping = (goodness of food)x10. there are more than 5 major shopping complexes in the central district alone, not to mention stalls on the roadside everywhere. and for the people who prefer quaint, more off-beat items, there'r the day market, chatuchak (my personal fave) and the night market, suan-lum. not to mention pat phong. haggling is expected, and EVERYTHING is available there, from clothes, to food, to candles, to buddha statuettes, to puppies. EVERYTHING. and everything is oh-so-pretty! everything is sequined or mirrored, shiny and appealing and all that jazz. seriously, they can take scrap metal , add a few strokes of paint or sequins and make it look GOOD. and they don't charge much for their artistry. just as an illustration, here's my shopping inventory after 3 days:
1 woolen cardigan
6 pretty sequined tops
3 t-shirts
2 pairs of shorts
3 pairs of pants
1 bikini
2 dresses
1 suitcase (to put in the stuff i bought)
6 pairs of earrings
7 candles
5 necklaces
3 bangles
1 pair of shoes
2 basket things that were sequined and colorful and pretty
4 skirts
2 bags
5 shawls
2 paperweights
ahh... satisfying.
THAI MASSAGE:
this is a must after a long day of shop-strolling. they start with the legs, then the head and neck and shoulders as well. it's available everywhere too, just like everything else, and last call is around 10.30 pm. each session approx 2 hours for 300 baht. that's about 30 rm. basically you pay to let someone grope and knead you like crazy. smells of menthol at first but wears off once they start rubbing. comercialized physical affection but not too bad considering the effect.
PEOPLE:
everyone is thin. prolly the sour food and ulam-like vege consumption. but everyone's slim. and yet are able to retain their assets. and thais have PRETTY eyes. guys and girls alike. dark eyebrows, thick eyelashes, and dark bright eyes. and they are generally darker. so find a guy with okay features and you get someone who's tall, dark and handsome instantly. sigh. and i think they are very sensual people. as in not jsut physically, but the way of life. they aren't afriad of greasy, or stinky-yummy food that people nowadays shun for their unwholesomeness, and they aren't afraid about expressing their sexuality. guys, girls and tranvestites alike. so it's cool.
All in all, bangkok rox my world. so if anyone is planning to go there, do call me.

hmm.

2005-05-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

interesting fact for the day: studies show that hungry or poorer males prefer voluptuous, fuller women whereas richer or filled men prefer lithe, svelte girls.
skeptical? cross examine the poorer regions and richer ones around the globe. poorer areas prefer fuller, fertile looking women while richer countries exult stick-thin models.
a survey was also conducted on a number of men entering and exiting a cafeteria listing questions about their preferences regarding women such as hair color, age as well as weight and height. men who were entering the cafeteria averaged an ideal weight for women of around 3-4 kg heavier than for the men who were exiting the cafe.
the same survey was conducted on another bunch of guys after manipulating their local environment to make them feel poorer or richer than the ppl around them. results were that the men who were made to feel poorer preferred women who were 3-4 kg heavier than the choice of the men who felt richer.
weird....
the reasearches postulated that hungry or poorer women preferred taller men but results were not cogent.
plucked out from a random health today mag.

incoherent writing. not thinking straight. somebody call me out!

2005-05-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

back from btn!
that's kem biro tatanegara in full. facilities were better than expected. dorm got air cond even. some more was prepared to being bakul and sarong to mandi. ppl in charge were also approachable. cough and loss of voice aside,all in all a boring but pleasant 5 days.
the entire camp being uneventful enough, EXCEPT for.....ceramah #4. climax of the camp. to summarize, there was this wierd and cocky 50-year-old speaker who came to give a lecture on kedaulatan and but ended up pissing about 90% of the female audience and 10% of the other sex as well by making sexist and racist statements. i bet INTEC ppl prolly have heard enough, but for the benefit of the others, the central message of the lecture was basically that the most important thing for a girl is to be pretty so she can marry and men have to be rich cuz that's the only thing girls look for in a guy. AND when someone actually stood up to protest, the reply was that what is important for a girl is not for a girl to say, cuz it's the guys who determine wha'ts important in a guy's eyes anyway. followed by some crude joke about fairer being better cuz bedak is called bedak putih, spoken to an INDIAN girl. felt like punching him in the gut. as if that didn't make him despicable enough, he HAD to provoke further when someone else stood up. i mean, she's already emotional and annoyed, and you don't have the discernment to just drop the joke, but you have to challenge the girl further...it's real stupid la the whole thing. but the worst thing out of the stupid 2 hour lecture was that it actually caused a gap between those who agreed with the idiot and those who didn't. ppl were talking about it even the day after the talk, arguing even. it's really scary that i have guy frens who DO think that way. isn't that kind of thinking a little backward? guys, just humor me, comment after reading whether it's true or otherwise so i would know whether to just drop my studies and go for marie france.

blah

2005-05-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

went to dinesh's house yesterday. had fun. met friends. pics say a thousand words so i'm leaving the piccies to speak for themselves. click here for pics from peng chuan's camera. dunno if it's uploaded yet, but if it's not he promises to do so very soon....
anywayz, friends are a puzzling thing. they change through time, YOU change through time, you keep in touch, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.. okay i'm not making much sense here. let's see, it's like your life is a long piece of string. then when you make a friend you make a knot with THEIR string, then immediately your futures become intertwined in a sense. then to make things more complicated, you make knots with OTHER strings, as your friend does the same... in the end you wonder whether you can ever retrace that knot... okay i give up. just be happy with the statement that friendships are puzzling.
going for lunch with ex-piano teacher tomorrow. wierd. haven't talked to her for 2 years or so. but i guess it's a good thing. might make a new friend now i don't have to call her "teacher" or "ms peggy" anymore.
that's all for now. btn coming up. ugh. tralala.

sin yi < dog. pissed

2005-04-18T20:11:00.000+08:00

had a slight rift with mom cuz i wouldn't let the dog out to take a piss just before i was to go out for dinner. i had to eat. the dog needed to piss. the dog won.

i can't believe this.

the resurrection

2005-04-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

yeah it's been a while. but heck it's my blog.
thought that it would only be appropriate if i mention that i have already passed my driving test and that i have my liscense with me right now. once you start with this blogging business,you just feel OBLIGED to divulge in every notable detail of your life, regardless how mundane it actually sounds or whoever is reading this.
uni admissions just ended. u of chicago for me. although i thought that i would be going on and on about this topic for quite a while, surprisingly when reality hit i didn't really feel like talking about it at all. maybe because now the gossip isn't just about other ppl, but involves me as well. jut too meny emotions involved. so how come i'm talking about it today? funny as it sounds, i was inspired by a low-budget adam sandler movie.
it's about a hispanic girl relating her life with her single mom, a headstrong lady who lived for her daughter IN HER PRINCETON APPLICATION ESSAY. the mom worked with a white family, their lives got intertwined, blah blah. in the end, the point was the mom made many sacrifices for her daughter, and demanded that the daughter do the same, but it was okay because the daughter would not live her life in any other way if not to live it for her mom. at the end of her essay, she said that because of that (her life being deeply entwined with her mom's) getting into princeton would thrill her,but not define her, cuz she is her mother's daughter.
things wouldn't be this cool and wowing if it weren't for the fact that 12 of us atu ppl went for the movie, and actually chose it randomly for want of a better flick. it was MEANT for us. no one else in thecineplex would be able to identify better with the admissions scene than us. and the message was custom made. although i say i'm fine, i know i still feel the teeny weeny twinge of disappointment whenever i think of unis.(i'm still sore about uwc and that was 2 years ago) but the movie tonight really made me feel that things like not going ivy are okay. okay, being mandy's daughter isn't exactly the first thing that would come to my mind, prolly being christian maybe, and my life as a whole. you know, like looking at the bigger picture and seeing what;s really important to me and all that jazz. and the fact that the message came just at the RIGHT time, that fate orchestrated the day so that all of us woud go out and watch the movie also provided some kind of comfort, like somebody up there knows what i'm going through if you know what i mean. feel better now than the past week. ahhh....

too fast too furious

2005-03-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

i failed. i suck. the world owes me a living.

tides of change. crests of less significant ones too.

2005-03-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

the news just hit me: MIT results are supposed to be coming out reaall soon.
Well, actually i shouldn't be worrying, i didn't even apply. But the magnitude of the news just struck me: soon i will know of ppl who are in INTEC who are going to MIT! sure, seniors have been there, ther are ppl every year, but think about it, these are actually ppl you have taken SATs with, stayed in the same hostel, taken LA together. You know these ppl. scary. The first segregation of the Ivy League Std goers and non-goers. It's bad to do so but it's true. In fact, i forsee that it's going to be the talk of the program for a good few weeks starting from the next, if the rumors are true. this is big.
Okay now that the major issue is done with, the rest of my bloggerization is purely personal. so don't worry if you skip a few lines.
Now tht the haze has lifted, i'm really going to exercise. Jogging teice a week and no slacking. This time you can reallly whack me if you see me faltering.
DRIVING TEST ON TUES. DRIVING TEST ON TUES. DRIVING TEST ON TUES. Been having a lot of stress due to this. And ppl around me generally have been disparaging. Just because i didn't take the 'premium' package. sigh.
Discovered a lot of details in my house today that i have never noticed before. Little things that give my house its homely sentiment. For instance, there's a black and white picture of a little boy kissing an equally underaged girl on the wall separating my bro's room from mine. Never noticed it there. hmm. and the little koala bears, you know, the ones that clamp with their springy hands around the plants. Think i'll bring some of them with me to the states. Though i never notice them, i think they make up my home.
Been having pangs of nostalgia lately too. An ex-best bud in std just msged me recently, my primary school just had its alumni day of sth like taht. hum dee dum. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like i were a kid again.
that's all for now. DRIVING TEST THIS TUES DRIVING TEST THIS TUES DRIVING TEST THIS TUES. can't stress it enough.

progress report #2

2005-02-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

jalan raya .....check.
parellel parking......check.
three point turn....check.
slope...mm....only scored 3 out of 5 but check.
JPJ! here i come!
drove from sunway to shah alam and back via uber-congested Kesas, and from sunway to kj and back via slope-y LDP! meng yit aren't you proud?

grey like the letters

2005-02-25T20:42:00.000+08:00

i need to exercise. feel free to whack me if i fail to jog at least 2 days a week.
peixin has great pics of kk. if i am to enjoy travel, i have to be in shape. meng yit, esp lookahere. his pics better than yours :p
i should donate some of my 24 hours to others. my life is so stagnant it's a sin.

week chokeful of insignificant events

2005-02-18T11:15:00.000+08:00

Just got back from driving lesson #1! wah... so exciting.
ok, so maybe it wasn;t so exciting. Like slow-mo daytonna. We spent 1 hour 46 minutes turning left. only left. But at least i kinda got the hang of the gears and brake and such, though the clutch is still a little tricky. car died-ed a few times but i guess it's understandable being my first time.... right? now i can't practise cuz i don't have a manual car within a 500 m radius of my house. on sunday i'm going to lose it and start all over again. hope i get to turn RIGHT next time.
Went for cell yesterday. Thought that it was very refreshing, cuz we had a heart-to-heart discussion. Not really heart-to-heart personal issues, but about what we each thought about god, eternal life, hell, saints and so forth. Thought it was interesting because Hui Shan was a Catholic and we were all very curious about how the Holy Family system works. I have not had a serious discussion with a group made up of only christians for a looong time, this might even be the first time ever (I'm an anti-social church-goer)! It seemed different, a nice change. Although there's a healthy bout of intellectual discussion in INTEC life, with the clique and all, but it had never been fully christian, and usually more food for the mind than for the heart and soul kinda of thing. haiya, you know what i mean.
I think i've grown alot the past year. Took me quite long to figure that out huh. But i think prior to this i've never thought of other ppl around me before. Like 2 years ago i'd probably just want to make money a live a good life (truly, that was my main goal in life), but now i start to think of the implications of me being so blessed, like what am i supposed to do with what i 've been given. It's scary. Even in Singapore i have not grown as much, probably because there was so much to DO that there wasn't time to step back and evaluate everything, as Fui Chin once said. Singapore is one big distraction that stops you from stepping back to view the bigger picture of your life. Although life in INTEC seems a little sad, i think i've actually grown alot in certain aspects during my stint here. Thank you INTEC! (eww..)
Peter is finally out. Was quite scary cuz he didn't reply my msg for 2 days. Dengue does that to you, i guess. It was actually kinda funny how I found out that peter caught it. We were doing our Hawaii project and needed something to burn the sides of our map. So we called peter to ask for mosquito coil. Sigh, how ironic. Anywayz, the good news is that he just got discharged and i;m glad .
'sBeen a bad week. grew 3 years older due to lack of sleep. Glad all the work is gone now. tra lala.

rites of passage

2005-02-11T01:33:00.000+08:00

i have been accepted as a full-fledged woman in the Teoh clan.
If you're wondering why am i seeking for approval in the Teoh clan when you vaguely remember me taking after the Kong family name, it's because my mother belongs to the proud ancestral line of the Teohs.
A little background, it is the tradition of the Teoh tribe that every CNY the adults with adequate experience shall embark on the complicated and mentally-consuming task of playing mahjong, while the younger, less experienced 'uns will play with poker cards where it is safer.
All this time, i have never played at the revered mahjong table with other older and wiser relatives, only worthy enough of humoring the blackjack circle below, until this year.
On the eve of the new year, my brother was engaged in another noteworthy contest among himself, my mother and my aunt. (My bro has been deemed qualified a few years back) while i amused myself with the idiot box. Suddenly, my bro stood up and beckoned me towards the much coveted seat at the mahjong table. he had lost 30 rm and couldn't withstand the fight any longer. I then saw the opportunity to salvage my brother's loss and usher in my initiation into adulthood. I played against the shrewdness and dexterity of my aunt and mother. In 2 hours, i salvaged my brother's damages, and won rm 1. I had earned my title as an adult .
yay!
that;s all for now. full summary of cny hols later.

Count the number of 'patiently's!

2005-02-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

I never realized how patient i can be till today.
Boarded a van at 7 am to Cheras for an undang test i did not need to take (cuz they found out that my old one was still valid after all, after i sat patiently through the 5 hour seminar thing), then waited patiently till 11 for all those little kids to take their tests and get their results, then took another ride to ulu langat to wait for my assignment of the day, a 3hour theory bengkel. Don't let my short description of what went on from 7 to 11 decieve you. It WAS a long wait.
Reached Ulu Langat at 11.30. Sat down and waited patiently for the seminar to start. It was supposed to start at one. After trying to sleep in various positions on a chair with inadequate back suppot, 1 o clock finally came. I walked into the air-conditioned room and waited patiently for the speaker.
After 45 minutes, the speaker swaggered in and insisted on calling our names individually to sign in. Again , i patiently waited for all this registering shtuff to be over, then anticipated the 3 hour lecture. The speaker turned out to be disappointingly boring though, and seemed to merge driving rules with his personal opinions regarding malaysian drivers, which i thought was neither enlightening nor interesting. Sadly, he was the kind of speaker who disallowed ppl to talk or sleep during class. Right at the beginning, he drove the ppl at the back rows to the front, and forbid anyone to sit beyond a 5m radius from himself. sigh.
And so i patiently sat through the entire talk without dozing off. ( i did nod constantly though).At 4.30, not realizing that he was 45 minutes late in the beginning, the speaker told us that he would do us a favor by letting us off early. Then i patiently waited for my turn to sign out (we had to do the individual thing again) then i baorded the same van again and sat patiently for an hour and a half for the uncle to drop everyone else off. then i went home.
so let's see. i started at 7, and got home at 6. that means i have been sitting for 11 hours straight today. Thinking of it is making my end sore again.
cal test hapenned yesterday. It just happened. Not very pleasant. Bye bye A+, hello B-.

summary of the week

2005-01-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

the first step to being a chick-on-wheels! went for undang seminar. yup. 5 hours. and i stepped out alive and quite sane, though with a horrible backache. Let me tell you about my experience at a driving center. Of course, most of you would have gone through this already, so feel free to skip if it bores you/gives you trauma/causes repercussion/inflicts unwarranted deja vu.

Had to reach the shop house by 7 am this morning cuz the driving hq was at ULU LANGAT. my mom says a few more km and i would have reached Genting. Anywayz, so i boarded this 12-seater van right, which required 16 of us to cramp into , and endured an hour's trip to the place. Then i registered, got an electronic sign in card and so on, but we were about 40 minutes early, so i got the chance to explore my future learning ground. It was kinda funny really, to see about 50 kancils combing the land slowly. Seriously, red and white kancils were crawling around everywhere: up the hill, around the traffic light, around the roundabout. They looked pretty harmless, though they did remind me of a giant ant colony. Throw in the scenic jungle around ULU LANGAT and the suspicious smell of something like animal dung and there you have it, my first sights of my road to chick-on-wheels-ity.

moving on, the ceramah guy was actually not too bad. In fact i thought he was a rather good speaker. he used lots of jokes, recapped a gazillion times on his points, told stories, and asked questions to keep us poor things engaged. What is he doing stuck in the middle of nowhere? 5 hours was over soon, and i headed home. going back next week for the test.

hence my first driving lesson.

Besides the lesson, another notable event would be MY BIRTHDAY! Funny, i didn't feel the urge to blog about it even though things as important as that only happen once a year. maybe i have exhausted my enthusiasm for it after doing it for 18 times. My family didn't celebrate. Nontheless, i got to have dinner in Itallianis, this nice, hip reastaurant in one U with da sistas, and we bumped into our daniel-wu-lookalike-but-unfortunately-younger schoolmate. he was working there (apparently the restaurant only employs young and attractive people to wait on tables, a commercial gimmick), so we had the privelege of sitting down while he poured out the olive oil, set the table, and blah. nice. then it was Yum Cha Session again, this time with two more friends. ok, so the day passed by pleasantly but uneventfully.

what's more bloggable, though, was the prezzies recieved. recieved one from sistas. but the more interesting ones were eric & chen's and zach (& chee yong)'s. shall elaborate in future if necessary.

screwed my first chem prac. knocked over a ceramic filter, weighed wet and gross-looking crystals to get a 150% yield ( fyi, if you get the max of what you calculate theoretically you get a 100% yield). bullied our teacher into telling us answers for a quiz we missed last week cuz we didn't study.missed another quiz the following day.

went shopping for pei xin on friday. actually joyce and i wanted to shop for ourselves initially, and zach joined later, but the highlight would still be the hunt for pei xin's pants. shall also elaborate in future if necessary.

went chee cheong kai with sistas yesterday. met this friendly-but-wierd person on the LRT who suddenly started chatting with us about tmn sea-dj people and events. (he's from dj) i thought he reminded me of peng chuan and heng wai.

----------------------end-------------------------

english is an inadequate language

2005-01-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

Excerpt from "Miscommunication among the Kongs" by Kong Sin Yi

Act 3 Scene 1

Brother: "feel like going out tonight"
sister: "where?"

silence for the next two hours.

(loud piano music in background)
mother:"want to go pyramid?"

silence for the next 30 minutes. (except loud piano music in background)

mother:" pyramid at 8"

silence for next 30 minutes again.

sister: "let's go."
mother: "where?"
sister: "pyramid"
mother: "ask your brother."
sister: "ko, do you want to go pyramid?"
brother: "no"
sister: "i thought you wanted to go out."
brother: "that was just now"
sister: (to mother) " ko doesn't want to go. so do you want to go pyramid?"
brother: (shouts) "I don't want to go pyramid!"
sister: (shouts back) "I wasn't talking to you!"
brother: (shouts again) " I thought you were!"
mother: "where do you want to go for dinner?"
sister: "i thought we were going pyramid! don want to go already la!"
mother: "give me ten minutes."

ten minutes later.

*sister takes her wallet.*

mother: "where are you going?"
sister: "i thought we were going pyramid!?"
mother: "i thought you said don want to go already?!"
sister: "now i really don wan to go already!"
mother: "so do you want to go?"

and the day stretches on.

incoherent thoughts

2005-01-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

yale interview! can't get it out of my mind. I thought i've gotten over my uni apps, but it's all coming back to me now. wth. what if she didn't like me? what if she can't tell that i really want to go to yale? what bout harvard? when am i going to have an intervview? wha if i don't even get one? and princeton? why no news at all? where do i really want to go? so difficult.
Anywayz, despite my ranting, the interview went fine. fine to me i guess. i wasn't as nervous as i thought i would be, i didn't shake, stammer, hyperventilate or anything. ALTHOUGH i did make myself come off as a GEEK who loves biochem and research. and a zealot. i dunno. i wonder how much of myself actually got through. I STILL HATE INTERVIEWS. i'm never going to get a job at this rate.
Interview aside, nothing much happens in the life of an INTEC student. Went pasar malam with MY before she left for singapore, yam cha with Jian Tung and Wai Kitt and his would-be girlfriend (though i don't understand why he's stalling for time) and shopping. The life of an unproductive, untactful, self conscious and interview-phobic teenager.
there are two ways of communication: tell the world how you feel and get your way, or shut up your feelings and wait forever for your presence to be noticed.
Bdae coming up. Birthday alert! birthday alert!
i have not signed up for driving lessons yet.
My CA angel/mortal person knows my blog. this is feaky. Hi angel/mortal! why la post anonymous? u could tell me your name, i will be veery quiet about it. and don't tell anyone about my last blog about CA k.

my first driving lesson

2005-01-15T14:26:00.000+08:00

no, i have not signed up for metro yet, and will probably procrastinate till the second coming. The driving lesson was actually intended for huiching, but i had the privelege of sitting comfortably at the backseat as meng yit continually screams at huiching asking her to step on it.
Tucked in my safety belt from the backseat, i felt secured enough to pop my head between the seats in front and observe what a driving lesson is actually like. Lesson 1: cars can't move unless you apply pressure on the acceleration pedal. lesson 2: keep you right headlight aligned with the edge of the road. lesson 3: if you can't parellel park, don't.
she drove from BU to Uptown. In 30 minutes. Hence ends my first driving lesson.

what's my name again?

2005-01-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

Blogging out of obligation. I can't let my creation die.
Went for CA today. it's actually cf under the name Campus Alive. Initially i was pretty reluctant to go cuz my last class for the week is on thursday evening, and i could have gone home if it were not for CA. In fact, i have been contemplating whether whould i stay for CA for the rest of the semester all through last week. Decided to stay this week anyway cuz of back up singing duties. However, the meeting helped me make up my mind. Not because the meeting was particularly enjoyable though. I went much earlier to practise with the rest of the musicians, and while everyone was praying together just before CA started, someone started praying for every person on the music team, but when it came to me, she forgot my name! pissed. but i really can't blame her. I haven't been to CA or cell since June i think. so i guess i deserve it. Althought she apologized later and said that my name just slipped from her mind at the moment, i was quite embarassed for myself, for not coming frequent enough yet hogging a place at the ministry. Serves me right. Hence, i've decided to stay back more often now, even if it means spending another night in my akasia room, just to make sure that people wouldn't have a problem recalling my name by the end of the sememster. CA, here i come!
Another observation about CA and CFs and youth churches in general, is that in every such gathering there will definitely be someone who is male, about 20, lanky but toned, wears dark rimmed glasses, has nicely combed or spiked hair, and is a drummer. I have no idea why, but they seem to be so abundant and prevalent that they could form their own species or pedigree. Yes, there's one of them in CA. Seems that every female has noticed him at least, if not sized him up and realize with dissappointment that he's already attached. INTEC has limited prospects. That was as good as it gets.
Watched Phantom for the third time yesterday. Yes. it's that good. sorry eric, but you had cal. just love everything about it. The story, the cinematography (did i spell that right), the phantom :) and the music! yeah. The story behind it to gives the songs a deeper dimension, you know what i mean, like the songs have more purpose or meaning than others. and i still have a crush on the phantom, though i'm not that eager to find out his real identity, in case he turns out to be a dissappointment in reality like orlando bloom or viggo mortensen or something. Give me a week and i might be ready to spend another 6 bucks for the movie or buy the pirated version.
Weekend's here again! smiles. Planning to go for new year shopping for red and auspiciously-colored clothing so i can look good for the new year 'nien' monster. Tralalala..... ATU rocks.

lol

2005-01-09T14:16:00.000+08:00

yo! *lol!* it's a new year! *lol!* classes just started! *lol!* i'm so excited! *lol!* hehe.
my class is nice. Initially i was complaining about the time table, but since it's going to be shifted soon, it's nice.
my room is nice.it has pink tiles. i still have joyce as a roommie, and this term there's chen yee :)but i wonder if she'll ever move in, she seems to be taking it reealllly slowly...
my life is good. suddenly dawned upon me. To be frank, my energy level during the first week at INTEC has only been so-so. So, dunno why, suddenly i feel like i'm on top of the world. Maybe it's because i'm home :) i dunno, but i feel that the beginning of the new year deserves a little more enthusiasm. Hope the feeling doesn't end..
this term i'm going to study. i'm serious. i've just bought a calculus textbook that's probably a tenth of my body weight. And i've actually got study subjects this term, like chem and shtuff. No more killing time til bedtime then going to sleep. me going to improve myself.
propoganda of the week: keane is a good band. this is a year of beautification. healing to all.

the longest post ever ! ( from me, that is)

2005-01-02T15:01:00.000+08:00

i'm probably a little late, but it's the time of the year, where hope and anxiety come with the transition of a new year, to evaluate just about anything under the sun.

BLOGS. it's true. People blog out of boredom. I neglect my blog whenever I've got something better to do. The last few days stretching from Christmas eve till now had been great, hence the,ahem, long-awaited entry. (To my imaginary fan base, sorry for trying your patience.) Another thing about blogging, that's actually quite a stale issue by now but still rings true, is that this is a PUBLIC diary. There has to be personal space. Reading about something over intimate about someone else's life is like standing too close to the person and he/she's breathing down your neck. Not very nice. It's better to keep personal matters the way it's labeled--personal. That's why i've recently reconciliated with my diary. A slower process, but more satisfying as a whole. Highly recommended.

CARS. There's been at least half a dozen people who have,intentionally or otherwise, commented or asked about my ability to drive this holiday season. No, I don't have a liscence yet. Stop asking. I will get one eventually and i'll tell you if you haven't died of old age by then.

CHRISTMAS. Had a-whole-lotta fun this time around. Went KL for the eve, and had a surprisingly smashing good time with funny company. There were Meng Yit and Hui Ching, of course, then Wen Teng and Larry, who are actually MY's classmates, whom i happen to know, and two Japanese one 21,one 16, some guy from KL called Nic whom HC and MY used to talk to, and Victor, someone from the same primary school as me. We spent about 50 bucks on spray and sprayed everyone and thing on the streets,till there were blisters on our fingers. Ended inhaling lots of funny smelling foam, and getting multi-colored strings caught in our hair. Lots of fun. Then there was Christmas. Special because my bro and I accompanied our grandma for her first christmas as a christian. In the same hokkien speaking church. We bought her a little pendant, which i think she actually liked. Sweet. Then there was the party at Jo Ann's place. It really wasn't so much a party as it was a reunion. I was actually just there to see friends whom i thought were gone forever after SPM. It was really nice, especially meeting Vishnu, Dinesh, Wei Hao after pretty long time. The rest, I've seen on and off, but overall I felt that it was a pretty cute gathering. In conclusion, it has been a warm and meaningful christmas.

FAMILY DINNERS. there's no escaping them. Every year there'll be several occasions where you have to dress up all pretty and face the rest of the oh so pretty and bright cousins. It doens't help when all your relatives are inexplicably attractive and smart. ( I have an aunt in Cambridge and a cousin with 5 subjects for STPM) Contrary to my expectations, it turned out to be quite enjoyable. There were 2 gatherings, one for New Year's Eve, the other for the First day of the year itself, both generously laced with alcohol. Generally, all of us have grown into funny people, and i had a very good laugh. (Maybe it was the drinks, i don't know.)

MATURITY. i have come to a conclusion that maturity is about objectivity, humility and consideration for others. It is important to be able to see something from more then one perspective. To arbitrate what we think as the sole truth is not only pig-headed, but also deters others from discussing the issue with us. To over estimate our ablity is also a sign of immaturity. Not over estimating ourselves per se, but to forget the fact that there are so many other people out there who are just as good or important as ourselves. Lastly, there's the humanitarian side to adulthood. I've been enjoying myself these past few days, without a care about the world around me Then something Pak Lah said following the cancellation of permits for new year celebrations, about how we shouldn't be celebrating when there's so much tragedy around us, and should spend the time praying for those affected instead struck me. And i think it's because i'm nearing the end of my teen phase, i felt a pang of guilt then. It made me feel concieted and small. I guess the sign of really growing up is to think of others, even others that we don't even know, instead of our concieted selves.

RESOLUTIONS. yes, i still make them. so hit me. The resolutions are as follow :1) THOU SHALT NOT BE A LAZY BUM. (That means sticking to the rest of the rules.) 2) THOU SHALT EXERCISETH AND EATETH VEGETATION TO BECOMETH A FAIR MAIDEN BY THE DEATH OF THIS NEW YEAR. 3) THOU SHALT LEARNETH TO DRIVETH A CAR. sounds simple, right? forgive me Shakespeare.

A good item to end the evaluation of the year. Might come up with others i have missed at a later time. Thank you.

laporan: rombongan ke Kuching

2004-12-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

Tis the season to do everything formerly impossible due to the time constraint.
Just got back from Sarawak. Slept a record 12 hours on the last. Spent 3 days in Sibu, a yearly affair, and 1 1/2 days in Kuching visiting Joyce and family.
Kuching was fun. Going there was not. To get there, Peter, Peter and I had to board an 8 hour bus ride. Nonetheless, it was an interesting ride for the first few hours at least. Unlike semenanjung, there'r no real highways eventhough the distance from kuching to sibu is probably equal to kl-kelantan. No tolls, no 8-lane roads. Even 2 hours into the ride, there'r stil traffic lights, crossroads and pedestrians. Funny. Anywayz, all along the way, the scenery was pretty much the same. Now and then, there would be a hut, or a shack, followed by a few hundred metres of grass or paddy, the green fuzzy landscape kind of thing that resembles the fur of an enormous green teddy. The most interesting part of the journey was probably when the bus drove onto a huge platform that ferried vehicles across the river. Rejang i suppose. That only lasted about 10 minutes though. Then there was lunch in the middle of nowhere. While it's nowhere to be found in the whole of Shah Alam, Indo mie was served in this obscure little eatery. Shame on you, Shah Alam. Traveled for another 4 hours or so between consciousness and sleep, then finally reached Kuching around 5pm.
There was no time to recuperate once we got there though. Headed for all sorts of Kuching specialties with Joyce and co., such as Bubble Tea and forest reserves in the middle of the city. Doesn't sound very spectacular, but it's the little things that truly show the way of life there right?Night time was seafood dinner with the rest of the family. Although i'm not a seafood person, by the end of the dinner i was stuffed up to my throat.
The rest of the trip followed the pattern. 3-layered tea, Gambia street, Waterfront, dinnner, lots of food and tea. What really made the trip enjoyable was the warmth and hospitailty of the family though. Everyone was just friendly and welcoming. From Joyce's mom right down to 9 year old sis, everyone just talked to us and made us feel at home. I thought that the trip would just be about going out with Joyce, but i ended up getting to know the entire family.
Now i'm back here, looking for something else to do for the remaining 2 weeks before classes start. Probably meet up with as many ppl as possible whom i've neglected throughout the year. Holidays mah. haih, how i wish it'll never end.

i am not going to talk about sats

2004-12-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

In sibu right now. The place of my father's forefathers.( which makes is mine as well i guess) Till now, the entire event has been one big epicurean nightmare gone awry. My mom just got coerced into eating pig's heart cuz it's supposed to cure her cough. Can't break my grandmother's heart now, can she? she told me breakfast seemed like fear factor for her. Tell me about it.
Went for lunch just now at a fancy resaturant. There the pressure was really on. Whenever i tried to refuse some slice of steamed sea cucumber or roast duck, the entire table would fall silent and all my relatives would turn to me with questioning eyes. Eventually the guilt would sink in and i would obligingly stuff it in my mouth. I had to excuse myself eventually and hide in the toilet for the last dish so i wouldn't be forced to stoke myself even further. I mean sure i love you, but no offense if i have a small stomach. It's only been going on for 2 days, and already i'm considering bulimea.
Going kuching tomorrow. Dunno what is available there. Will just wait to be entertained :)
Got msged from HanXi at 12 am! Very pleasant surprise. Haven't seen her since primary. Promised to meet up after i get back.
Going to my safety net now. See you after 4 years.

movie review 1

2004-12-16T18:34:00.000+08:00

Just got back from watching the phantom of the opera, the movie, during a reunion of sorts with tmn sea frens. we were looking for sth to do and found out about the show. I won't pretend that i have watched the musical or read anything pertaining to it, so that means i had no idea what the story was about except for the fact that there's a fat lady and an ugly man somewhere in the cast.Well, the story was pretty classic: pretty maiden becomes the object of obsession for ugly being who craves for affection, handsome hero saves the day, et cetera. I wasn't there for the plot anyway. And the real reasons for my watching, the setting and the music, didn't fail to impress at all. Colorful, grandiose, and moving. Pretty cast, surprisingly good-looking phantom, and amazing vocals. throughout the entire movie i was thinking whether i could belt that note or handle the song myself. For anyone who likes Broadway or Disney or musical dramas and what not, this is worth the 9 bucks.
I'll just skip the part where Fui Chin turns to me during an especially emo part of the movie and tells me that the phantom has the same one-side-of-the-face-is-uglier-than-the-other problem as I do, and where Jian Liang actually added salt to the wound by pointing out this huge pimple scabby thing on one side of my face, as it is not pertinent to the movie.

nostalgia, melancholy, hope, relief, emotional rojak

2004-12-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

I am currently at the verge of tears.
I am now scrolling through pictures of my ex-choir's trip to Vienna and Prague. The trip that I DIDN'T go. They are all smiley and happy! they all look like they are having the time of their lives! And i'm not there.
Seriously, one of the things i REALLY miss about Singapore is the beloved choir. I couldn't wait to get out of school, and life there was so-so saja, but choir was really one amzaing experience for me. Everyone was just as committed and enthusiastic about everything, we didn't even have to know each other well to click. And the thought that they're all having fun and making music in some exotic European hotel just hurts.
Anywayz, that's one thing of the things that i hate about parting. Not really about missing the people there, but the thought of all the opporutnities that will be lost after you part. like the chance to know someone better, the chance to do something new, the chance for a different experience. It's like choosing a left in a fork and wondering where you could have gone if you had turned RIGHT. But i guess you can;t have it all.Greedy greedy me.
On a lighter note, I sent EVERYTHING today. EVERYTHING as in my apps. I gaze at all those pretty little parcels thrown into the 'poslaju' bin and pray with misty eyes that those precious lil things will make their brave little journeys over the seas into New York, Massachusetts, et cetera.It's amazing how a few packages weighing under 1kg would lift off a ton from my shoulders. Suddenly i feel like shopping, eating, lepaking and making myself pretty again, things that i had sort of lost interest months back. Woohoo!
That's all for today. Don't get me wrong, i'm still sore over the vienna trip.

and out of the cocoon climbs out a beeautiful butterfly....

2004-12-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

holidays!
it's the first time in months i can actually sense the liberation of the hols... past hols have been kinda crappy, tied down by apps and such. very welcome breather this holiday is indeed.
went church with granny today. while everyone was singing, another granny (not mine) forgot to change the transparencies, but no one seemed to mind. In fact, noone even seemed to notice. It was then only did i realize that probably less than 5 percent of the congregation could read. They were all singing from memory! that was pretty moving. And that explains why we always sing the same hymn for about 5 times before getting over it. It's really something different from the usual congregation-stare-at-the-screen-and-sing-half-heartedly-while-trying-to-read-the-lyrics. Kinda moving.
Next, there was housewarming at kota kemuning. Some relative has bought a semi-D there and wanted us to go gush over it. And gush-worthy it was indeed. The 11-year-old son's room had a disco ball and surround sound system for crying out loud. Kids are so spoilt these days. Anywayz, besides the chimness of the house, it was pretty uneventful for me. Wrong crowd.
that was all for the day. First official holi-day. Still planning for the subsequent 20 days. Tentative agenda includes sibu, kuching (yes i'm going), singapore. Meng Yit's having a jap boy over at her place for a few weeks. very nice. My pleasure to make his stay a pleasant one. In short, the following weeks till school reopens shall be filled with pure fun, untainted by more intellectual exercises.I REFUSE to worry about anything anymore! yeepee!
excuse the unorganized thoughts. still groggy from long-term worrying an isolation.

don't touch that dial!

2004-12-08T01:25:00.000+08:00

imagine a piece of gum. if you were to stick a little piece everywhere you pass by, by the end of the day it would be stretched very thin, wouldn't it? is it possible to keep everything with you without stretching yourself to the limit?
sorry for the brief and irregular posts. busy. will work on it.eventually. i promise..

but i'm a creep, i'm a widow....

2004-11-26T19:20:00.000+08:00

This is actually for yesterday, so i don't really feel so strongly about it anymore, but i'm saying it to fill up the space anyway.
negativity is contagious, melancholy is addictive and self-pity is indulgent. don't listen to sad songs just so that you can commiserate with the lyrics and wallow in self-pity. don't exagerrate your problems so that your helplessness is justified. don't dwell on things you can't resolve. resolve the things you can. don't complain.
but i am not such a high-flyer, go getter all the time you know? i'm not always bursting with energy and productivity, ready to create a new science project or save the world. should i try that hard? i can't seem to just suck it up and work, work, work. that's why whining seems such an enjoyable pastime to me.

that's it for yesterday.
i will be getting to work. soon.

poor organizational skills

2004-11-22T21:06:00.000+08:00

first day of school deserves a word of acknowledgement : yes.

It really was very uneventful despite a ten day break. quite happy, actually that i'm studying again (yes, i'm a geek *snort*). the break wasn't a really refreshing one for me. it's a nice distraction from reality and idleness, this studying business.

got 290 for toefl. good enough score actually, but i'm sore because that means i didn't get a full score for writing. usually i wouldn't be brooding over this, but sat II writing is coming up, plus app essays piling up; the score isn't a very good ego-booster. makes me doubt my rhetorical skills. i mean, toefl writing isn't that hard, you know? hmmph.

o, btw, i just found out that the best form of flattery is to take notice.

of course i don't mind! go ahead!

2004-11-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

Girls have a hard time expressing themselves. ok, ourselves. It's ok that we can't say no. but we have to take it further and encourage others to do the one thing we hate them to do, just so that it's not obvious that we don't want them to.
We are the nicer sex. so we don't pick fights, we don't offend each other's feelings, and we don't say no. what happens then? we brood over it by ourselves. why can't we just learn to say whatever we feel? wouldn't that be much easier on our own part? is it because what we really feel isn't that nice? that's y we conceal it. and we have to pretend that nothing's wrong and encourage whatever it was that got us upset in the first place.
i'm generalizing. this is just a response to a few cases i've seen recently. a little pretense is necessary to appease, but at our own expense? sorry for involving all the girls. and sorry for leaving out the guys, if you guys actually feel the same.

who's afraid of the big bad uni apps

2004-11-16T21:11:00.000+08:00

mwahahahahahaha! i feel invincible! roar....

finished 4 (!!!!) app questions today. 2 short 2 long. 4 down, 9 to go.
lesson learnt from this episode. no point waiting for inspiration. mine never came. had to suck it up and just start writing. wasn't that bad.

harvard-princeton-yale-cornell-brown-chicago, here i come!

sugar and spice

2004-11-16T15:07:00.000+08:00

forgot to mention "america's next top model" yesterday. nice show. full of drama. downright funny.
the ppl were very pretty, (annoyingly so) but i thought that the drama was kinda silly. one competition required the ten remaining contestants to fight over one mirror so they can create the 'smoky eyes' effect in 15 minutes. After that they were supposed to fall into line to be judged. Although i see the rationale behind resourcefulness, i thought it's kinda overboard when ppl get emotional about having the mirror, and smile with such relief when someone tells you that 'your make up looks great'. it's funnier on tv. then there are also episodes of bitching about then crying on camera. O, the drama. very entertaining.
That aside, there's also music recommendation. there's this song from the Shrek soundtrack by Jason Wade from Lifehouse-- You belong to me. Very mellow and sweet. go listen to it. ahh....

bleh.

2004-11-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

"knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Control freak. NOW YOU SAY 'CONTROL FREAK WHO'!"
HAHA.
got it from RD. nice joke to share with y'all.

Anywayz, i came upon a new observation today.

westerners: "she really strives for excellence."
asians : " wah, so kiasu,"

westerners: "she's got a very assertive personality."
asians : "power-crazy lah"

don't understand it. what's good is bad, and what's bad is good. asians seem to be very critical of ourselves. when we see a guai lou don floral printed jeans we say it's really edgy. pretty. closer to home it's lala.
seems like we have this crab-pit syndrome. if one of the crabs manage to climb to the top of the basket, just as it reaches for the rim to propel itself out the the great beyond, some smart guy pulls him back into the basket. We are taught to be modest, submissive. Great qualities, yes, but what's the point of over-modesty?

A :'Wah, so clever! got 1600 for SAT!"
B :'Nolah, where got."
A :'What you mean where got? so clever...."
B :'no lah...'

err....what are we getting at?

i know, just like the conversation above, this observation is going nowhere.

selamat hari raya everyone :)

vote. vote.

for princeton!

2004-11-14T19:11:00.000+08:00

tick tock goes the clock...

2004-11-13T21:28:00.000+08:00

i was wondering, how long can a person actually stay in isolation before he or she goes mad?

very fuzzy day ,it is. time crawled. didn't even hear it pass. just spent it making noise in the house, playing with the dog, (that's its purpose for now), trying to screw my stupid printer, trying to swindle my parents in mahjong and sleeping. i can't even remember the right sequence. it's like one of those long, story books with no specific plot and you just forget what happens in the middle.

Nobody to talk to. The only friend who's willing to drive all the way to sunway has left for tazmania for a MONTH. Sigh. The only company i have would be my handy-dandy 'Kaplan Biology for SAT II' and ever faithful apps. (they just won't leave me alone, you know? how cute...)Actually, it's my fault. i was supposed to spend these 10 days cooped up in my room hitting those books and apps like a mad woman. if only i could do more hitting. this is something like a test of my endurance for solitude, you know?

so, how many days can a person spend in isolation before one gets crazy?(nervous laughter)

Oh, free time also allows for a lot of MTV watching. Check out Greenday's new song. (' Boulevard of broken dreams' , i think) and Travis's too. (walking in the sun) very nice. I thought greenday sounded diff from their old selves.

For a taste of societal awareness, try Malaysiakini.com . very interesting, although you can't view all the details till you subscribe. The features and editorials were very cool. For someone who only reads the comic section of newpapers, this site provided very provocative and interesting comments on the events happening around us. Like reading a very big blog, instead of the papers. Provoked my apathetic self to think more about the world around us, starting with our beloved water-land. (lame translation of tanah air. i'm sure you got that)

suggestions on more constructive time-killers are (very) welcome.

sit, stay, shake.

2004-11-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

Do animals have a purpose in life?

I was looking at my dog, running around my house. Papa trying to teach him new tricks with doggie biscuits. Do you think learning new tricks actually gives him job satisfaction?how do we know that he's happy just sitting around in his comfortable cage, or attacking our shoes? maybe he wants a walk? to travel? to see other dogs? i would rather die if i were confined my whole life to a house roughly just twice my volume, and limited to a social circle of 4 beings of a different species.now, if we were in my dog's scenario: no concept of time, no deadlines, no social system, no work, what would we do? we all seem to need sth to DO, sth to think of, to fight for, a drive to keep us and our passion alive. if we strip all these man-made assignments down, what's left of our purpose in life? all's left's God.

Leo tolstoy wrote a story entitled,'what men live by'. i haven't read the actual story ( i don't think it's even in english), but the gist of it is that men's purpose in life is driven by their ideals and the love of others. true, no?

yes,jun. you are right. ppl post out of boredom. I like thinking about things like tht anyway. coming from the pacifist camp, I think we should just tolerate the tone, temperament and diligence (how frequent the blogs) of other bloggers ,right?

where's the chicken?

2004-11-12T15:08:00.000+08:00

we live in a world that pays too much attention to the packaging. we like our purchases to come in flimsy paper bags with flashy labels instead of durable,pink or orange pasar malam plastic bags. because paper is biodegradable? as if.

i'm whining over my uni apps, like every other atu student. diversity and uniqueness seems to take up so much importance. i understand that being different is the best way to stand out, but what happens when the need to be 'different' outwieghs the need to be plain 'good'? does having a 'different' value system, faith or color actually merit to anything? why do we celebrate diversity in the first place? maybe it's just me, i tend to get so caught up with being different, or creative that i miss the point. Packaging. Advertising. Apperance without substance.

I have come up with a gazillion of the vaguest ideas for my apps, litte, tantalizing phrases that promise to make my essay glitter with 'uniqueness'; but ultimately they are just what they seem to be, shadows of real ideas. None of it is really uplifting, inspiring or anything of that sort. i have yet to come up with a point that would provide a meaty, air tight essay. make that 8 meaty, airtight essays. no chicken in the chicken soup.

besides, jun said that i sound just like joyce. ouch. well, i might, i might not. after all, i don't pick sb to model after before writing. don't get me wrong jun, keep the criticisms coming; i need it. so much for creativity, though. haih.

has anyone seen these people?

2004-11-11T18:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday my father asked me, 'how come you don't keep in touch with hanxi?' i didn't have an answer to that. In fact, i don't really know what happened. we sort of moved on. changed schools, social circles, friends... to take it a step further, i have actually lost touch with every one of my primary school classmates. so much for friendster.Question is: am i going to change my social circle every 6 years? out of sight, out of mind, right?

hence the blog. it's supposed to remind everyone of my existence. (if daily soliloquies can't remind you, then nothing will, right?)there you have it, another very valid reason to read my blog. andbtw, if you know whatever happened to hanxi, or if you ARE hanxi, pls email me. or call.

happy deepavali everyone. i want to go pangkor.

page one.

2004-11-11T15:39:00.000+08:00

i feel like Frankenstein. i have created a blog! it's going to be alive and breathing, full of controversial topics, heartfelt matters, tear-jerkers, thought-provokers, chicken soup for the soul, honest opinions from my readers.... now let me talk about my new hair cut.
this is a fantastic site isn't it? i can propogate anything i want; long, one way conversations to advocate anything i see fit. I feel like mtv. Complete with irrelevant quips and gaudy colors. enough for today. this is just the introduction. more substance will be revealed in later blogs. tell your friends and family. everybody read my blog. everybody look at me.

for princeton! pick an adjective that describes me best :) ( sorry, but i need good ones. bad ones later)
	mature
	humorous
	intelligent
	articulate
	cheerful
	sensitive
	expressive
	warm
	friendly
	others : pls specify in 'comments' anonnymously

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